Wednesday, 16 July 2014

YOU FILL UP MY SENSES


Nearly two years ago, someone forwards me this song of John Denver. Now as per Cupid’s law, one is ‘suppose’ to feel atleast a little romantic but as far as I remember, my memory lane took me to the whiff of horse stables and their grassy poop ….. I guess, I was & will always be in love with horses…
 
Of course, I didn’t tell her this. She figured out herself! 

Coming back to hotels, during my days as a sommelier, I once did a mistake of trying to explain the notes of a wine as a ‘nose of white chocolate’ to an American “Blonde”. Excited to hear the word ‘chocolate’, she gulped down half a glass and said,

‘ Honey, there is no chocolate in this wine……’

Well……Listening is one sense that she clearly did not have…….
 
 
The world of Hotels for me is a feast of five senses… you get aroused by new aromas every day, your eyes feast on good looking people, you hear and are a part of new gossip every day, you taste the most exquisite and sought after desires of the world (and that too for free!) and feel so blessed when you get kicked in the nuts by your boss!! It’s like a daily dose of protein. 

 So be it the smell of new money, enticing aromas of tandoori chicken or pleasures from simply whining all day….. It’s all about pleasing your senses which eventually makes you run & chase your dreams.
 
The sense of taste for me is perhaps the most delusional. 
If I were to make an F.A.Q list, this question would top my chart:
‘what really is authentic ? And if it is not authentic but it tastes good, does it really matter?
 
Well, this is where the argument begins…..

Find me a Chef who agrees that his food wasn’t AUTHENTIC enough! They will go miles to certify that theirs is the only ‘authentic way’ as their grandmother’s neighbour’s dog’s aunt made it the same way and the rest of the world has learnt to cook at a petrol pump!

Try arguing further and a flying knife comes your way……
                                                                                               
 
Sometimes authentic is so foreign to our tastes that we can't get past its authenticity. Chicken feet are simply too cartilaginous for most of us, donkey meat sandwiches are just too weird and cubes of congealed pig's blood are downright off putting.  Yet they are all authentic …..

But there are some people on this planet who travel just for all this…Can you believe it- no Selfies, no pictures with the Gucci Store! Travelling only for the love of food! Let me try and explain,

People don’t just travel from one part of the world to another to simply sit at a restaurant and eat. They do it because they are in search of new sensations and experiences that might get them excited. Many of us when trying a new place or cuisine don’t know what we are looking for, however what we do know with certainty is what we don’t want to find:  context where nothing happens!

The great restaurateur, Nelson Wong told me once, “Learn to tame & sharpen your senses and the world will eat out of your hands”…

Well, Someday……..

 

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

A Hotelier's Tale !!: Dating A Vegetarian

A Hotelier's Tale !!: Dating A Vegetarian: I get ecstatic just by the mere thought of having a good meal…. My friends refute on my request on seeing a menu & never let me ...

Dating A Vegetarian


I get ecstatic just by the mere thought of having a good meal….

My friends refute on my request on seeing a menu & never let me decide… because of my ‘disorder’. I do not order excessively, they just feel so!
 
Well, these days my urge seems to be under control, thanks to the current city, I am living in!
 
I have always had this peculiar obsession of browsing through
the best restaurants around the globe and then drool over their menus…
From the Eleven Madison Park in New York to Nahm in Bangkok, they are all on my bucket list….  Nothing to me is more amusing than a well written menu that can excite your senses….

 
I only know one more person who’s as crazy as I am when it comes to ‘food’….. And she fortunately is not a Hotelier….She is much prettier than that…..

 
The problem begins when you try & search for this insanity or shall I say ‘quality’ in others!
 Last weekend, I decided to browse through San Pellegrino’s 50 Best Restaurants ….After having gone through the first ten ….., my pupils dilated, there were cramps all over and hunger pants which cannot be explained. The moment was excruciating yet satiating.…


These were only indications that I can never date a vegetarian!



 

So I found a potential match. Like the same music, we get each other’s humour, like the same movies, both like to travel and take long walks on the beach.
 
Everything looks great and the heart jumps a beat as I get ready for that first date.  And just when you think nothing can wrong, She drops the bomb....
'what can you recommend in vegetarian'..... 
 
So is it a deal breaker?  It’s not like she smokes cigarettes and I have asthma. But let’s face it, I am a carnivore and that’s simply something I am not willing to change.  You start to wonder…What’s next?

Tree hugging? 
 
I like a girl whom I can enjoy a bacon, egg and cheese with, someone who can slurp freshly chucked oysters and whose eyes glitter when she sees a steak tartar….. And not someone who gags at the smell of meat!

 Does that make any sense?
 I recently read an article which said…‘Look for someone who matches 80 percent of your interests,”. “If the remaining 15 to 20 percent is about religion, politics or food, don’t let that be an issue.”
 
But what if 80% of your interest lies in that 15%….. What if that 15% is much more important to you than that 80%..?
 
I have always believed in the fact that all joyful moments of our lives are connected with memories of great food, wine & conversations….. Replace any one of them with cabbage and cauliflower and my remembrance becomes faint & bleak…
 
May be carnivores like me are only capable of dating those with whom they can share a rack of ribs…..

Sunday, 8 June 2014

A Hotelier's Tale !!: Ignorance is Bliss

A Hotelier's Tale !!: Ignorance is Bliss: My colleagues in Atlanta were in for a shock when they met an Indian who flew all the way from Switzerland to work in United States (Me!!...

Ignorance is Bliss


My colleagues in Atlanta were in for a shock when they met an Indian who flew all the way from Switzerland to work in United States (Me!!).

 
It was a dream restaurant to work for…..  Stunning view of the city’s sky line, white glove service with suffocating sophistication, Faberge plates,  never ending tasting menus, caviar, cheese trolley,  a team of sommeliers and a gorgeous lady playing the harp  …. We all had fixed days to give her a hand while she climbed down from a golden spiral ladder..… She would take our song requests and learn to play them…and when she did, it was a moment….I guess we all secretly loved her……

It was ‘The place’ to propose and fall in love,  

 
 But the most satisfying part of my job was to hear the elevator speak                 “ going down…..” we did this several times a day just to hear the husky elevator voice say that! I never got to meet her though…

I soon learnt that getting high at work is so much fun! Polishing expensive silver when you are high on flavoured vodka at 4 pm is so divine… ( you could try this at home)  6 flavours for every day of the week (we were closed Sundays)- lemon, lime, cherry, peach, green pepper corn & Russian tea with orange….  Our house specialties which we made every single night! I think we guys even invented ‘Cherry Coke’.

Coming to work was like getting a season’s pass for the Jerry Springer show! (that’s another show you must watch !! ). You enter the 21st floor and you were greeted by Vivian, a 65 year old virgin who would tell you her sob story of how her brand new 15 year old car wouldn’t start……… Every Day !!

You somehow escape her and  would meet my best man, Dino, creating his special drink of the day for all of us….and for the grand finale, you always got to watch the French sommelier fighting over his newly acquired boy toy with another aspirant from the team… I better not name these men!

For some reason, The Chef de Cuisine had nick named me ‘Jihaad’. As per him, there were only two nominations for the title crown of ‘easiest job in this world’. First was to be post man, all you got to do is put the right envelope to the right address. And the second was to be a waiter!! You just got to pick up the plate and keep it on the table, how difficult is that !!
 
And if you can’t even do that right, you should commit suicide!  

A bottle of champagne in, and you would hear him speak this over & over again…………

We also had a 70 year old janitor from Mexico who had been doing the same job for 50 years! A rich experience of listening to people’s fart, poop and burp for 30 long years… Just before the service began, he would come & ask every day, ‘ how many guests tonight?’….I still don’t know why did so! Perhaps he needed more tissues to roll, stack up toilet paper…. I guess, he had busy nights too….

 

A Dutch MaĆ®tre d, a French sommelier, a German chef, a bunch of American waiters and Me!  On the 21st floor of this fine hotel, you couldn’t ask for more……..

 
 

P.s. This was, ‘work’, you could only imagine the after-hours…

God bless America!  
 

Monday, 19 May 2014

A Hotelier's Tale !!: The Faulty Towers

A Hotelier's Tale !!: The Faulty Towers:   If you haven’t watched this show, I seriously recommend you do before you read on………… My favourite British sit com turned to real...

Sunday, 18 May 2014

A Hotelier's Tale !!: Truly, Madly, Deeply

A Hotelier's Tale !!: Truly, Madly, Deeply: Since my initial working days, I always had this fascinating delusion of working for a hotel on white sand with sky blue beaches…Destinat...